Alright ladies and gents. I’ll be brief. By now you’ve all seen the hundreds of messages washed up on our shores. I’m sure you’ve all read ’em. And I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions. Well, I’ve got answers.
- Avalon’s defenses have NOT been compromised. Contrary to popular opinion, the abyssals do follow a set of physical limitations. They are unable to enter the field generated by Avalon and must resort to other means.
- The messages themselves are harmless and composed of mundane matter. If you do’t believe me, Mahan’s already finished her analyses over them. They are, quite literally, made out of black ink and special parchment. No, you will not go mad from reading it, nor will it cause nightmares or any assorted ill-effects.
- The fact that they self-destruct is not an indication that the letter is abyssal in origin. I’ll get the boys from the CIA to bring a demo next time, or you can just go find Phoenix and she’ll show you how it works. We’re talking high school chemistry demonstration here, folks. Trust me, I was a bit freaked too until she pointed out that those messages came in vacuum-sealed watertight packs.
- For the four of you that actually need to pay attention to this part of the message, do NOT eat Artois’ message. Sh♣t, guys. I can’t believe I need to say this, but on what planet is putting something like that in your mouth EVER a good idea? No, nobody’s getting disciplined or demoted, but I hope you’ve learned your lesson well.
- As for Artois’ demands? I’ve got one thing to say. Let’s end this advisory on a high note.
The United States does not negotiate with Terrorists.
Regards,
RDML Michael Yin
Commander, Avalon Base