(Historical Inspirations) Prelude to Guadalcanal

Hi! Tautog here. Yes, Morgane’s actually put me in charge of the rest of the site, at least for the weekend while she’s busy taking a break from a lot of overtime at work.

Given it’s November, I thought I’d provide some historical context on how the battles at Guadalcanal took place. See! We talk a lot about how these were some of the most amazing and unusual naval battles during WW2, but I think we should understand just what was going on in the minds of our commanders (and the Japanese).

The general situation at Guadalcanal is not unfavorable.

Nimitz, Oct. 30th, 1942.

Let’s recap a bit about what has happened since. Coral Sea. Midway. Eastern Solomons. Santa Cruz. We’ve had four big carrier battles in a very short amount time, and we were beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. US fighter pilots were getting adept at fighting the Zero in the air. US CV officers were learning how best to control and direct their air groups. Fighter cover is improving. Aerial recon is improving. AA gunners were improving (the new AA guns do help!) and the general situation is doing better.

To put it simply, we’re learning. The Japanese were too, but they were less quick. While we did just lose the Hornet, Japan is stuck consolidating forces at Truk. Furthermore, they were unable to dislodge the marines fighting around Guadalcanal – the Savo Island victory, ironically, removed Japanese focus from their losses there. While official Japanese media was wildly enthusiastic (Santa Cruz was chalked up as “three US carriers and one battleship sunk,” haha) the actual military’s outlook was somewhat mixed despite the Emperor’s encouragement below.

The Combined Fleet is at present striking heavy blows at the enemy Fleet in the South Pacific Ocean. We are deeply gratified. I charge each of you to exert yourselves to the utmost in all things toward this critical turning point in the war.

On one hand, Nagumo and Kusaka estimated that a good number of carriers (Ugaki calculates 4, Nagumo is more conservative and assigned it 3) are sunk. Midway has been avenged! Tokyo has been avenged! (The Japanese were well aware that the Hornet would have made a fine prize) Tennou-heika-banzai!

On the other hand, Japan has once again stretched themselves dangerously thin. Post-war pro-navy anti-army narratives tend to pin the failure on the Imperial Army, who failed three times over the last month to retake Guadalcanal. However, it must be pointed out that the Emperor himself also had significant influence in the campaigns that followed. For instance, within the same dispatch as above, here is a second part.

Regarding the struggle for Guadalcanal. It is a place where a bitter fight is being waged between forces of Japan and the United States. It is an important base for the Imperial Navy and I hope that the island will be recovered by our forces as soon as possible.

Emphasis on “as soon as possible.” This demand was not at all unreasonable, as the Imperial Army has been bleeding men left and right. Implicitly, a huge amount of pressure was thusly placed on the navy to deliver greater and greater results. This is where the Imperial Navy starts to bleed as well. Japan has not been able to trade aircraft with the Americans very well. One 70 plus plane loss like the Eastern Solomons or Midway battle might be absorbable, but Santa Cruz brought another (some sources count up to 90, others at least 69) staggering loss to Japan’s naval air.

In other words, the writing was on the wall. The USN is starting to learn, as I’ve mentioned up there, and Japan’s losing far too many planes and pilots at this point. Something has to be done, and Japan decided to seize the initiative.

Thus, the better question to ask is why wouldn’t Japan risk a naval assault on US forces after Santa Cruz? There is no way Japan would not try to force a naval action to knock the US navy out of the game. They had to. The army was running out of supplies. The Americans were bringing more and more troops in by the day. GHQ counted on the American carriers being out of action – even if the carriers weren’t sunk, they surely could not stop the Japanese from advancing further. The IJN brought what transports they could spare, and sent a large convoy forward. In total, during the days before the actual battle, sixty-five destroyer loads of troops were dropped on the island.

To catch any American reinforcements off-guard, Yamamoto sent out a a raiding force. This is Hiroaki Abe’s group with two BBs, 1 CL, and 11 DDs. This force had a simple mission. Hit Henderson field. Neutralize it. Let the Imperial Army reinforce Guadalcanal.

Here’s where the plan went awry. Our submarines, twenty-four in all, saw them coming from a (few hundred) mile away.* What’s more, Halsey has already correctly deduced that the Japanese would try this move, and called in Kinkaid’s TF 16. Sure, Enterprise was still under repairs, but the battleships and the DDs on our side should be more than sufficient. After all, our goal is to destroy enemy naval units and interdict Japanese reinforcements.

Meanwhile, we’ve got our own transports on the way. The primary combatants of the 1st naval battle of Guadalcanal actually came from the escorting ships of two transport convoys. The first group, Admiral Scott’s Atlanta and her DD escorts, were escorting attack cargo ships. These, such as the USS Libra, were pretty heavily armed for transports and could provide some fire support if needed. The second group, Admiral Callaghan’s cruisers and destroyers, were escorting transports.

Imagine yourself in Callaghan’s shoes. You know that this was probably one of the most important sites of the entire Pacific War. You know, for a fact, that the Japanese were coming with battleships. On the 10th of November, your superior basically told you to expect a heavy Japanese attack coming your way.

Originally, if things went well, the transports would drop in quietly and leave as soon as possible. That didn’t happen, as the Japanese scouts were very good, forcing Callaghan to immediately unload. Submarine, aircraft, and other intelligence basically confirm the presence of Abe’s task force – the one with the two BB – coming this way. Furthermore, in the same day, carriers were also sighted.

The intent here is clear. The Japanese is going to attack the American transports and try to cut off supplies. If the transports are sunk, it’ll be a major blow to US forces. But the real prize is Henderson airfield, which the Japanese are almost certainly going for – especially with that large task force they’ve sent.

You have a couple of cruisers and a bunch of small ships.

There is literally nothing else. No reinforcements will be coming tonight. Meanwhile, you’re almost certain that they’re coming tonight.

So what do you do?

We’ll block’ em. Hard.

Puts Sanny’s profile quote in vol. 2 (“Yes, I know it’s suicide. But we’ve got to do it!”) in a new context, doesn’t it?

Callaghan was a good man. Quiet. Contemplative. He was well-liked by his crew (they affectionately called him Uncle Dan) and was known to be a capable officer. Almost everyone who knew him comments that his faith plays a big part in his actions and interactions, and he carries himself with a sort of dignity not unlike heroes like Hector or Roland or, you know, any number of personages from ancient epics.

This is not to say that he made no errors. Plenty of errors were made on both ends. Some were avoidable. Others weren’t. But, I think given what we know of him, it’s clear that Callaghan went in with the intent of completing his mission.

Now, close to a hundred years later, I think we can all proudly tell the admiral, mission accomplished.


*Morgane’s editorial comment: Tautog is obviously very pro-submarines. While it is true that submarine scouting provided significant intel, it really is a massive team effort, from our submarines to our airplane scouts to intelligence agents embedded in various Japanese bases to literal eyeballs. 🙂 

Subcorner 19: More Submarine Cuisine

Am I orange this time?

Yeah. I think you are. I’m gonna be red… or maybe just normal color this time. I think it’s kind of weird that we always switch colors, though…

I honestly was not expecting you to be so … Please, don’t take this the wrong way, Tambusebär but I did not think that you would be so thoughtful.

Underestimate the Tambor at your own peril, ya no-good kraut, haha! This one’ll be fun. 


Hi! Tambor here. I have Dracha and Hata with me today. Sorry if you were expecting Tautog’s commentary on the London Naval Conference. Since she’s busy trying to figure out ways to make it seem like we aren’t too biased against CERTAIN powers, the three of us sat down and thought we’d talk a little about food! 

After all, everyone likes food! As Tautog said in an earlier post, food is what makes life on a submarine much more bearable. What we’re going to do today is to have the three of us describe to you what an average menu would taste like (little hint, St. Bernard! You should totally draw this out) based on historical documents we’ve scrounged up regarding submarine cuisine.

These are respectively:

A Type XXI Supply Document (summarized by the US military)

A Tambor-class supply log (actually, it’s the Tautog’s stores!)

A I-15 class assessment report (since not much information survived off of late-war Japanese submarines)

To maximize (yes, you read that right!) bias, we’re having Hata eat the American menu, Dracha eat the Japanese menu, and I get the U-boat one.

This’ll be fun! I REGRET NOTHING!


(Tambor’s account)

Gaaaaaaah I regret EVERYTHING.

I should have gotten Dracha to get me an early war menu, where the Germans might have actually had all-edible food as opposed to that fake meat thing. As it stands, dinner consisted of:

  • A really good pork sausage. Yum.
  • Some kind of pork sausage that doesn’t taste like sausage. A closer inspections reveals something called Bratlingspulver. It’s a soy-based mock-meat filler. Ugh.
  • A pound of (somewhat burnt) baked potatoes loaded with bacon and ham bits. Not sure if this is just Dracha can’t cook or if it’s supposed to be that way, but this one tasted fine.
  • A chopped up dish of gherkins. Dracha says that these are surprisingly enough well-received by the crew. Kind of vinegary but it tastes German enough…
  • For drinks, a sweetened red tea that tastes kind of like our southern-styled ice tea back home, to be honest…
  • Some kind of very hard hard-bread cracker with a marmalade I can’t quite figure out. Maybe apple? Strawberry? The cracker was very tough and nearly impossible to bite into.

Overall, I was glad to have avoided the legendary horror that’s the “one-pot stew.” Apparently it’s welcomed by U-boat crews but no one else in particular. Personally, I was expecting a whole lot more meat since it’s supposed to be German and all…

However, it seems that the largest amount of food carried were indeed tinned meats (Bratlingspulver-added or otherwise), potatoes, and “preserved breads” (which I can only assume was the cracker-thing that I ate). I’m not sure of the quality of the canned vegetables, but apparently it wasn’t very well liked.

(Here’s a picture I found from U-boat.net. Looks like they had plenty of creative ways to store their foods. Hmm… I wonder why Dracha didn’t give me an apple or an orange or something… That picture looks like there’s definitely plenty of fruit…

Unless fruits go bad fast too… I wonder how fast apples spoil inside a U-boat.)

Overall. Taste? 3 out 5. Portions? 5 out of 5. I think this was fine. Man, I kind of want Trout to make some brats for dinner tonight now…


THIS IT?

SHEISSE, WHERE IS POTATO????????

I UNDERSTAND TINY MENU IS FOR TINY JAPANESE PEOPLES BUT THE PORTIONS ARE TINY!

No, Dracha, you just eat a whole lot. The IJN’s wartime caloric allotment was in the region of anywhere from 3200 kcals to 3600 kcals, which was on par with the calorie standards of other navies…

T-taugogtau –

It’s also rude to talk with your mouth full of food like that. Also did you forget? This is my sub-corner after all. Just because I’m busy doing research doesn’t mean I can’t pipe in and provide useful commentary, where I’m sure all our readers appreciate.

S-sorry! I wasn’t trying to talk. It’s just this … RICE! THINGIE! It’s REALLY hard to eat. It’s hard and doesn’t taste like rice at all!

That’s because it’s barley rice. Typical ratio is 2 portions of barley to 1 portion of rice for the surface fleet. Hata says that most submariners still had to purchase their own food supplements, and nobody have the money to afford eating “silver rice” – what you and I call white rice every meal – with the exception of maybe some very wealthy officers. 

*STARES*

I DEFINITELY see more grains of white rice here than 2:1, Tautog.

Japanese submarines have a much high portion of white rice, per meal, compared to anything else on the fleet. Think of it as hazard pay or a morale booster. However, barley mixed rice is still common enough that it appears on the menu fairly regularly. During earlier periods white rice may be far more common (in fact several commanders can attest it being almost for every meal!), but the evidence we obtained is sourced in 1944 – well into the losing portions of the Pacific War. 

There’s no potato… no meat…  waah… Those pickles are tiny and the black sauce tastes really off…

You ate the meat already.

H-Huh??? You mean that tiny canned thing?

Yeah. Also, it wasn’t tiny. It was 500 g and you ate two of them in that stew-like dish. Normally Japanese submariners don’t just get canned, pre-made meat meals. Those were special. You just ate enough meat for four, and it’s generally stretched out into a stew or a curry.

… They didn’t taste like anything to be honest. Kinda bland and salty. The meat’s texture was also really weird. Say, Tautog, do Japanese canned fish taste better? I just realized that it’s not common at all over this side –

We have canned tuna but nobody really likes it much.

Yeah. Tambor’s right. Typically canned tuna is easy to get in the US side, but it’s really just meant as a sandwich filler more than anything else. The Japanese sort of canned sauced fish or deboned raw fish is interesting precisely because it’s different. Normally, preserved, fresh, or whole fish is common. Below is a picture from a Japanese military manual showing new recruits how to properly fillet and process fish.

However, submariners often had to deal with canned goods. Take a trip to the local Asian supermarket and look for their canned stuff. It won’t be too different from what the Japanese submariners ate historically. 

… I have to say I really didn’t like it. At all. The whole meal, I mean. We eat rice too, but it’s nothing like the way the Japanese submariners make it. The meat was cold and it didn’t taste very good. The pickles are really flavorful, but they were really tiny. The black sauce tasted horrible! It was like burnt leather, only saltier and smellier. The only thing I liked was their soda-pop. It was zesty and lemony and tasted really good. Just like the sodas we get on Avalon these days.

Also, why didn’t they have dessert?

OH. ALSO. I HAD A BEER. IT WAS WEAK AS SHEISSE. WHOEVER DECIDED TO CALL THIS STUFF BEER SHOULD GO DO THE SAMURAI SUICIDE THING BECAUSE IT’S AN INSULT TO BEER. I AM ACTUALLY KIND OF OFFENDED NOW.

Er, first of all, the black sauce you had was supposed to be miso. Apparently based on the two sources we could find, many Japanese submariners disliked the miso supplied to them. They preferred other canned sauces or non-canned soy sauces instead. 

Secondly, dessert items were considered to be “extra” menu items. It’s kind of like their midrats. Plenty of bean breads and baked goodies or other sweets, but only for specially qualified individuals. For the matter, it wasn’t very good either. Unlike the plethora of baked goodies you see on a US submarine, most Japanese baked items were basically … bread plus sugar.

Literally plus table sugar. You’ll see plenty of menu items like “bread with canned red bean paste” or “bread with sugar sprinkles” or “bread with sugar sprinkles plus extra sugar rations.” Other common dessert items such as Mitsumame (think of these as jelly) and Yokan (another jelly-paste like dessert made out of red bean paste) are generally served at the commander’s discretion.

Beer… I have no idea. Some sources mention the alcohol rations are often diluted on occasions, and other than that I haven’t heard anything about Japanese beers being “weak.” Hata?


Freshly baked bread every day. Not a single meal without good meat. Choices of beef, pork, chicken, wow. Desserts all the time. Huge mix of fruits, vegetables, and … waw…

Fresh! Milk! Ice cream!

Easy there hon. Fresh milk isn’t that common. It’s generally only available at the beginning of a patrol or in port. It’s definitely something you miss, though. 

T-Tautog, I’m gonna make some gaijin home-guard who harbors a far too romanticized view of everything Japanese mad by saying this, but this food is really, really good!

Of course. Pic related. It’s a reenactor showing everyone what cooking on a US WW2 submarine looked like! If I have my way you’ll see an entire mini-series within the Navy foods mini-series too! All about cooking on a submarine, mwahaha!

(The source is from the USS Cod!)


Hope you had fun reading that, everyone. See ya next time!

…Shouldn’t Tautog be the one closing this off?

Actually I’m kinda hungry now. Besides, it doesn’t count as a hostile takeover if I approve wholeheartedly of its contents!

Wait, so were there sub corners that weren’t approved?

No, I mean, not that way. It WOULD be nice if Dolphin doesn’t randomly barge in and go MURICA on everyone though. I’d also like to keep it as related to submarines as possible, so no random Prisse-Zuizu-Marby or whatever/whoever else coming in talk about the things they like.

See ya next time!

Silent Service: Principles of Submarine Design (1)

Tautog here. I’ve been reading the comments and the mail and I’ve just realized that we haven’t talked about the very basics behind submarine design yet!

(Also, I’m a little tired of people arguing over which submarines are the best. The answer is of course the AMERICAN one, but you can make a good argument for many other countries’ creations, too!)

We’ve talked about the necessity of maintaining buoyancy before. However, I think it’d be good to just list off some general constraints that submarine designers are working under. So, in order, we’re going to be talking about the pressure hull, the materials of construction, the conning tower and periscope, and the powerplant. I’m also going to use the American ones during WW2 as an example – if you’re interested in the submarines of the other countries, I can grab one of our other girls to answer instead!

Since this is somewhat long, today we’re just going to talk about the hull of the submarine itself.

Okay. So. Pressure hull. This is the submarine itself. If you think about it, the submarine is literally just a giant metal floating box that needs to sink on demand, right? The pressure hull is the “wrapper” around all the machinery that goes into a submarine. Generally speaking, submarines are volume critical and not weight critical. This is because the submarine is completely enclosed, so any attempts to save weight will not necessarily result in smaller displacement, because the volume of the materials don’t change.

What this means is that weight saving measures can then translate into thicker pressure hulls. A thicker hull means that you can dive deeper. While it’s tempting to think that it would be good to make a submarine with a super-thick hull, eventually you hit a point where most of the weight comes from the hull itself. We call this being “weight critical.”

(If you have very heavy batteries or machinery, it might cause the same thing. Remember! You want to distribute the weight in a generally even way.)

This is not good, because it means special precautions must be carried out to make sure your submarine don’t sink like a rock. This issue is typically solved in modern submarines via a combination of very light but sturdy materials or careful placement of their inner machinery. Pre-WW2 US steel, by the way, was rated at a dive depth of about 250 feet. Today submarines obviously go a lot deeper than that!

Speaking of the hull, the shape of the submarine matters, too. In theory, a completely spherical object would be the best at resisting pressure. You actually see this principle at work in deep sea science exploration probes. However, a spherical submarine wouldn’t have very efficient use of space. As such, most submarines are in those long cylinders that you are familiar with today.

The important thing about cylinders isn’t that they’re cylinders, though, but rather, just what sort of a shape it is in. Generally, the designer have to keep in mind the overall surface to volume ratio, since higher surface area naturally causes more drag, which makes the submarine less agile. However, longer submarines could also fit in more powerful machinery. So in cases like the modern day Los Angeles class submarines, it actually worked out to be positive overall.

Anyways. Generally, there are three types of submarine hulls during WW2 times.

  • Single hull: All of the tankage (the ballast tank; what controls the buoyancy of the submarine) is found in one single “shell.” It’s easier to build this type of submarine, and it has the least amount of surface area, so it is stealthy and fast. The downside is that with the tankage being inside the sub, you have a lot less space to fit in machinery. The US started out building single hull submarines, then went away from it quickly enough. It isn’t until modern day nuclear subs that we see the single hull submarine come back again.
  • Double hulls: It’s as the name suggests. A floodable second hull encases the pressure hull, and reserve buoyancy is provided in the tanks located between the pressure hull and the case. The advantage here was that the submarines were bigger, they ran more efficiently on the surface (because of their larger freeboard, which improved seaworthiness), and they generally have greater range (owning again, to their greater size). Some think that the extra layer of “armor” makes it tougher against the lightweight submarine-killing torpedoes, but others don’t think so. In either case, the downside was that the double hull was technically challenging to build, and it dove very, very slowly. While it was pretty commonly used by many European countries around WW1 and inter-war eras (including the Surcouf, teehee), today only the Soviets (Russians) really stick to the double hull design.
  • Then we have the compromise, or what is called the saddle tank design. Here, you have tanks mounted externally on a single hull submarine. This allows for much better compartmentalization and habitability since you’re carrying all that water outside, and the extra tanks actually allowed for a measure of stability due to the greater contact area between the submarine and the water. The downside? It had significant underwater drag, and it dove somewhat slowly as well.

So, yeah. I’ll probably go over some notable submarine examples in the next piece. In any case, I feel like it’s just something people should know about. Submarines are pretty neat, after all!

See ya next time.

Pacific’s Shipgirl Comment on Pin-up Girls: A Commentary

Hello everyone. It’s me again. I’m having tons of fun with the title!

I know Morgane’s already said that the updates aren’t daily but I still feel bad about missing them. Sadly, sometimes technology gets in the way.

Anyways, today’s topic is sort of a mail call question, but it was more of an extended conversation between friends that I thought I’d organize. In short, the conversation got onto the topic of fanservice – specifically, that of pin-up girls.

There’s a few things I’d like to talk about. Since, well, I’m going to guess that a lot of our readers love looking at pretty girls in various states of dress (or undress). That’s fine! But, since you’re here and all, I’d really like you to understand the purpose of the pin-up, how it came about, and what role it played specifically during the Pacific war.

Believe it or not, the pin-up was implicitly encouraged by the military. The very popular pseudo-official military magazine, Yank, had pin-up girls for every issue. The overarching idea?

Um. Uh… If you have pictures of a pretty girl to look at, maybe you won’t go look for prostitutes and go cause trouble.

I’m serious.

Here’s why. During WW1, we found that military men will be military men. They will get drunk. They will chase after and sleep with girls or prostitutes. They will get into fights. Of these, STDs were of a particular concern. Our military forces suffered significantly from it, and the Army was determined to not to have it repeat again.

But how? One way, of course, was through education. The military generally maintained the viewpoint that sex was something that should be reserved only for your best girl at home – that is to say, within marriage. See below for a quote coming straight out of an army publication.

If you wait until you marry, you’re safe and keep your self-respect. You also play fair with the “girl back home” whom you expect to play fair with you. There’s no substitute for morals!

Sounds like something I’d agree with, heh. But, that’s not all. The military also tried to foster a healthy culture by providing significant resources towards education, particularly that of venereal diseases.

They also created posters like these.

Ah. See? Now that’s where we’re getting into the subject matter. As I said above, pin-up girls were created to be representative of something more than just a nice pair of legs for the guys to look at. You’ll notice that some of the most popular pin-up girls aren’t necessarily the prettiest. Rather, they look kind of average. They were neither particularly tan nor particularly pale, neither particularly plain or particularly glamorous, neither particularly bosomy or flat, neither svelte nor supple…

You get the idea. Pretty average. Something like the girl next door. Something like girls you might know.

Indeed! Now you get the idea. The appeal of the pin-up girl is far more than sexual. It appeals to something much more fundamental to each individual soldier on the battlefield. In a nutshell, they were American ideals, personified. They’re icons in which the boys out in the frontline would fight to defend. Something literally meant to be “pinned up” inside a vehicle or a plane or a ship to look up to.

Don’t believe me? There’s some pretty good statistics out there showing that while sexually suggestive or even explicit pin-ups were very popular with the men, the most popular pin-up photos like Betty Garble were pretty ordinary.

Yeah. It’s that one. Pretty simple, isn’t it? But it’s the simplicity that appealed to the soldiers out front. In fact, Garble herself told the wives and girlfriends at home: want to cheer your man up? Then send pictures of yourself as a pin-up girl! Take those pictures in heels and bathing suits and looking coy! The guys’ll love it!

And they totally did. Remember, the boys were boys – many of the soldiers in WW2 signed up at 17, 18, 19. There’s a sort of homeliness to the overall image of the GI that makes it easy to see why they were the direct counterpart to the “plain” pin-up girls. They were supposed to be the average decent innocent farm-boy next-door, coming out here to fight to defend the American way of life. Doesn’t mean they don’t think about girls! If you’re at that age, heck, I’d say girls are probably on your mind a whole lot of the time!

So, to that end, the pin-up was an important contributor to morale. It’s not really something you can put a statistics to it, but from the many, many, many instances it showed up? I’d say it’s definitely an important part. It was just as important – in its own way – as the USO ladies, the broadcasts from base, the letters from home, and the care packages delivered.

Pretty neat, huh?


Now, I’m going to turn to us shipgirls in Pacific. I want to talk a little bit about the design process in which Morgane and K9 and everyone else went about designing Silent Service’s subgirls.

Heck, actually, you know, it sort of goes for Pacific’s shipgirls as a whole. I can’t speak much for the non-Americans in Pacific, but you’ll notice that outside of a few oddities, by and large the American shipgirls have very plain looking appearances. As a whole the hairstyles are simplistic. Virtually nobody wears make-up. Colorful exotic hair colors are the exception and not the norm. You won’t find any sort of tattoos, nose-rings, and others of the sort either.

Well, plain, for an anime-styled character, anyways.

Now, after seeing the above, do you see why? Do you see what might have inspired us to follow our particular design paradigm?

Hey, I’m not saying that our girls can’t be sexy or alluring or hot. We’ve got plenty of that, too! After all, you can’t be the best if you don’t look the best, and against the Abyssals we’re going to need to be the best.

But at the end of the day? Each one of us shipgirls have a different idea about how much skin we want to show. That’s more or less inherent in the “default” costumes in which we appear in, and we are almost without exception comfortable with how much or how little skin we want to show.

Our appearances are designed to be attractive. The artists like drawing cute girls and sexy girls and pretty girls. We are, after all, meant to represent a particular vision and a particular set of ideals. Each one of us does that in our own way.

Me? My position? Uh…

W-what’s that got to do with anything? I mean, I already told you how I felt about this kind of stuff! It’s in the box quote up there?

…W-w-w-wait wait wait. No. That’s not – That’s not what I mean! I’m not some cat lady or man-hater either. I just have my own ideas about what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Okay?

I’M TOO BUSY FOR DATING, OKAY?

Alright alright alright. I’m done. Sorry! I knew it was a bad idea to try to comment on this. Here’s a pin-up shot I did. Now go out there and be a good family man!